the schneid punk

Friday, April 05, 2002

Check out Pete's GBV article on the left, profiling new GBV drummer, Keith March.

North Korea has declared the U.S. to be its "Most Wicked Sworn Enemy". When making future announcements, TMG, Inc. hipster Sam recommends that North Korea's "peerless leader," Kim Jong-Il, wear the classic black combat boot, camaflouge pants (with a flared leg to accomodate the boots), and a stylish, sarcastically ironic "I Just Love Corporations!" t-shirt from the nice folks at The Onion (going for the whole "Fuck The Imperialist Aggressor Pigs" look). OK, Sam isn't really here today, but I'm thinking that's what he'd recommend.

I've decided I really want to date an "indie-rock girl."

Finally, check out this amusing nod to "There's Something About Mary."

Thursday, April 04, 2002

So I started writing today with every intention of blowing up WHFS radio's ("The New Rock Alternative") Rob Timm for trying way too hard to be cool at Tuesday's White Stripes concert. Timm, who served as the concert's emcee and was easily the oldest person in the room, sported a leather jacket and the ever-popular "Your Favorite Band Sucks" T-Shirt. Timm was obviously extremely self-conscious about his employment at a "mainstream" station amongst an "indie-rock" crowd (albeit, a crowd heavily peppered with the "poseur" element), and attempted to boost his "indie-rock cred" by taking several gratuitous shots at his employer and the crappy music he's "forced" to play at the station. It was definitely one of the more unintentionally comic moments of the show.

However, in gathering links for this entry, I also found out that Timm is also an active proponent of several "do-gooder" liberal causes, serving as the Director of Broadcast and Artist Relations for the Rape Abuse & Incest National Network, and as Director of the Balkans Independent Radio Project (my guess is that "independent" means, "radio not controlled by the government" and not "radio that plays a lot of Geraldine Fibbers and Broccoli Head"). Interestingly enough, it was also Rob Timm who was forced to announce the pre-mature departure of the Cranberries at a free concert in DC after an unruly crowd started moshing to "Linger". Since he was also the only person at the White Stripes concert with a mullet, it is hard to be too tough on the guy.

Geek-Out Roto Baseball Update: Last night was a relatively good night for Nathan's Team Officially Sucks. Vicente Padilla pitched 6 innings of 3-hit ball, and Pat Burrell hit a solo home-run. However, lack of real offensive production (only 1 home-run so far!) continues to hamper the team, which currently sits in 11th place (out of 12 teams).

OK Catherine, you win. What, in fact, is Sam Wearing Today?

Today, mono-ridden Sam managed to drag his ass into the office for a few hours, but looked decidedly unkept, harkening back to the heady "grunge" days of the late 80's/early 90's. Apparently, he and his electric shaver are in some sort of argument, because he hasn't shaved for at least 3-4 days. We'll call today the "Don't Mind Me -- My Spleen's Acting Up Again" look.

Shirt -- white T-Shirt and a burnt siena-colored V-Neck sweater (looks to be Banana Republic). We need more burnt siena in this world.

Pants -- Black Jeans, brand unknown. Definitely not Levi's or Gap brand jeans -- kind of that loose, baggy, hipster look. Further research necessary.

Shoes -- I didn't actually see the shoes, but we'll just assume that he wore sneakers (don't think he was wearing the Kenneth Cole shoes with black jeans and a sweater). Maybe those New Balance shoes he likes to wear every now and then.

Obscure Former Phillie of The Day: Randy Ready

Wednesday, April 03, 2002

So last night was the big White Stripes concert (Feher Csikosok in Hungarian -- pron. FAY-hair CHEEK-owe-shoak). Overall, the concert was a plus experience. The sound carried well in the relatively small venue (Towson's Recher Theatre), and they played stuff off of all 3 albums, plus some intriguing new stuff (Meg even got to sing a solo!). I managed to reach "Concert Nirvana" at several points during the show. I especially liked the renditions of "The Union Forever" (how could any self-respecting Orson Welles fan not love this song), as well as the sped-up version of "St. James Infirmary Blues." As far as specific observations, Meg White is officially a rock goddess (right up there with Liz Phair and Kim Deal). She's not in that group because she's incredibly talented, but because she is incredibly attractive, though she does bang a mean drum.

The concert was definitely one for "the kids," with many of the attendees looking like they might still be in high school. Pete decried the apparent high poseur content of the crowd, as evidenced by the complete look of confusion on many faces whenever the band played anything not off of their wildly successful "White Blood Cells" album. There was also the requisite "Stocky Guy In Shorts And A Hooded Sweatshirt" that always seems to stand DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF ME at concerts. The opening bands were not particularly noteworthy. The good news was that because of crowd's youth, there were virtually no lines at the bar or in the bathroom.

Check out the link to GBV Radio on the left, generously provided by Large Hearted Boy.

Geek-Out Roto Baseball Update: Last night was not a good night for the Washington Grackles. Braden Looper gave up 3 runs in 0.2 innings, bringing his ERA up to a crowd-pleasing 40.50. Wade Miller also managed to get shellacked for 7 runs in 4 innings. As of today, my team officially sucks, causing me to change the team's name from "The Washington Grackles" to "Nathan's Team Officially Sucks."

Obscure Former Phillie Of The Day: Sixto Lezcano

12 Days Until GBV...

Number of dirty coffee cups currently on Nathan's desk: One (it's the one with a picture of a cowboy and the quote "There's a helluva lot of things they didn't tell me when I hired on with this outfit." Is that office humor or what?)

Tuesday, April 02, 2002

For the second day in a row, I came into work "early" (in other words, on-time) for a "staff meeting" (or what I like to refer to as a "marginally useful time-suck"), and, as yet, there has been no staff meeting. Grrrrrrr. At least the company finally shit-canned the bitter, over-roasted Starbucks "coffee" for the far smoother and less-burnt Coffee Beanery product (their Turkish Roast rules).

My on-going quest to master the Hungarian language is going very well, with last night's class featuring instruction on adjectives and telling time. Hungarian is definitely a screwy language, with all kinds of creative grammar rules, like something called "vowel harmony" and a total lack of prepositions (they tack suffixes onto the end of words instead). I am now fully qualified to say such meaningful sentences as "This broccoli is bad." and "The time is 3:23. I would like some cheese." Next week, we learn colors.

Currently in the CD player is Sleater-Kinney's "All Hands On The Bad One." Sleater-Kinney is a threesome that features two power-chord pounding guitars and manic drumming. Despite the grevious absence of a bassist from the band (a problem also suffered by The White Stripes), they kick ass. There's something strangely alluring about chick bands that flat-out rock-out.

Obscure Former Phillie Of The Day: Steve Jeltz: Despite hitting a grand total of 5 home-runs during his 8 year career, Jeltz is one of the few players to ever hit home-runs from both the left and right sides of the plate in a single game.

Ugh. The Phillies. The horror. The horror.

I have seen The Devil, and he/she/it is on Leanne's web-site!

Monday, April 01, 2002

Mmmm...Lean Cuisine Thai-Style Chicken and Diet Pepsi Twist. Does lunchtime get any better than that?

Before the latest installment of Six Feet Under, I watched a show called "Greg The Bunny" on Fox -- clearest evidence yet that the executives at Fox are sporting some serious crack addictions. The show stars Eugene Levy, hipster Seth Green (a film and TV veteran who's credits also include roles in "Austin Powers," "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" (TV), and "Idle Hands"), and a slew of interesting puppets (Greg, Count Blah, and Warren the Ape). Kind of a "TV-14" version of "The Muppets". Evidentally, the web-site creators are also on crack -- the show's site is HEE-larious.

Speaking of Six Feet Under (or 6FU), Pete and I had a lively e-mail debate over Brenda's latest behavior. Pete theorizes that Brenda is, in-fact, demonstrating some serious bi-polarity, evidenced by her fantasies of accountant-love followed by her sudden 180-degree proposal to Nate at the end of last night's episode. My theory is that she'll take up full-time prostitution in upcoming episodes. I don't think the bi-polar theory has been proven yet (though she is exhibiting several symptoms), but I do think that Brenda is proving to be more neurotic the average neurotic woman. I also thoroughly enjoyed the interesting encounter between Claire and her guidance counselor.

After reading The Pulpy's orgiastic rave about The White Stripes, I am seriously looking forward to the show at Towson's The Recher Theatre tomorrow. Co-worker, resident office hipster and Seth Green look-a-like Sam gave me props earlier today for predicting the White Stripe's imminent fame several months ago. I, in-turn, give props to Pete for drawing my attention to them.

I sat on my ass all weekend and it was everything I hoped it could be (props to anyone who can guess what movie this is from).

Obscure Former Phillie of the Day: Bob Dernier

It is now 1pm and the Phillies' baseball season has officially began. Let's hope the season ends without a strike.